Osorno cathedral |
Osorno cathedral |
So I'm now writing on a very
nice American laptop, inside of an American house.
Yeah, I went home for
my back.
But I'm going to treat
this email like any other.
For my last pday in
the mission we had a barbecue. We make hamburgers, and I had my first can of
root beer in the mission. You can only find it in Osorno.
In Chile the word for traffic
is "taco."
In this last week I
just chilled in the office and read a lot from Jesus the Christ. Elder Shobe,
the mission financer asked me if I was bored. I told him I was REALLY bored, so
he showed me to a massive stack of old important documents and a very ghetto
paper shredder. So I passed my last week shredding paper for the Lord. Haha.
Some of my first impressions
from being back in the States is that all of the streets are SO wide, there is
grass, and it is perfectly manicured. Just like an island resort. They have big
stores here and there are no dogs in the streets. All of the cars drive without
making loud noises and aren't falling apart. There is carpet, showers that aren't molding, and I
don't have to duck to make it through door frames anymore. It has been pretty
rough and frustrating having to speak English all of the time. It is so weird
to hear everyone speaking it.
I should be meeting
with the doctors towards the end of June to find out what is wrong and the best
way to help me out.
I have seen very many
tender mercies this week:
-On my last day in the
mission, we had a district council. I found out that Elder Jarman could sing
tenor, and Hermana Tripp could sing alto, so we made a quick trio and sang Nearer
My God to Thee in Spanish. It has been so long since I have sang like that with
other people. It completely relaxed me and I felt so refreshed.
-In the office, Elder
Germann, the AP, was printing off the new mission bookmark for the month. I saw
the templates and there was a pretty cool one. He asked me if I wanted him to
make me a special bookmark. I asked him to put Alma 8:15 on it. I
found that scripture in my personal study Sunday morning. It gave me
a lot of comfort. Elder Germann replaced Alma's name with mine to make the
scripture say "Blessed art thou, Jacob; therefore, lift up thy head and
rejoice, for thou has great cause to rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in
keeping the commandments of God from the time which thou receivedst thy first
message from Him. Behold, I am he that delivered it unto you." That really
touched me.
-The day that I received
the going home call from Presidente Obeso, I was pretty depressed. Towards the
end of the day, I hopped onto the office computer to print off a document that
we were going to show to an investigator to help her come to church. I pulled
up the church's web page, and the first thing I saw was a video link titled
"A mission was supposed to be the greatest experience of my life." It's
about a brother in the church who had to go home early for mental health
problems. Once I realized the video was for early returning missionaries, I
felt the Spirit wash over me along with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
It was no coincidence that the day I receive the going home call that that page
hops onto the church's website. For me that was the Lord telling me "I see
you. I know you. I love you."
-Driving home into our
cul-de-sac, it was lined with yellow balloons. Sister Olson, a great neighbor,
wanted me to feel welcomed home and loved even though I was returning early. It
worked. I did feel very loved and I felt the support of the members. I was kind
of worried about what the members might think of me for coming home, even
though everything was out of my control and it wasn't for worthiness issues either.
But all of the members have been so supportive and understanding. I have felt
the Savior's love from all of them. That has been a tremendous blessing.
Those are many of the
tender mercies that I have seen throughout this week.
I was with the
comisario of the mission in Correos Chile (Chilean mail office) when he got a
call from President Obeso. He told me that he had talked with the doctor in
Santiago about if I could stay and get better in the office. The doctor said it
would be impossible to heal unless I went home, plus the doctors in the States
can provide me with better medical care. He wished me the best and told me I
was an excellent missionary with strong desires to do the work. After the call,
I was in shock. I remember staring out the window from Correos Chile in Osorno,
and seeing people walking in the plaza and on the busy sidewalks, and my heart
swelling for them. I love these people. The gospel can bless their lives. They
need it.
In my last cita in Chile,
it was with a recent convert family. We started to re pass the lessons with
them. We taught them the restoration. I wouldn't have wanted to end my mission
in any other way- testifying of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I especially
felt the Spirit strongly as Elder Haddad testified. He is a convert to the
Church. I know he knows it, and when we testify with an actual personal
conviction and testimony, the Spirit adds a spiritual power to our witness that
can be felt.
Me, Elder Haddad and our blind ward mission leader |
For a missionary who
is returning home for health related issues, one of the most difficult
questions is to be asked is "Will you be returning?" Even though it
is always asked with good intent and just an effort to make conversation, it is
still very hard to hear. It is hard just because I don't know a lot of things,
and I'm already feeling confused and emotionally distressed about the whole
ordeal. Anyway, Elder Germann asked me with the best intent in the office
"We'll see you back out here, right?" I answered "Well if the
doctors clear me, and my stake president encourages it, and if I spiritually
feel that it is the right thing to do, then...Man, I just don't want to leave
it." And then I started crying. He gave me a big hug, and told me that he
had a long talk with Elder Wertner, a missionary from my group who also went
home just two weeks earlier for back problems. Elder Germann told me that he
felt impressed to tell me the same thing that he told to Elder Wertner:
"It will all be OK." It seemed to me like a normal thing to say, but
in the days that followed I had many hard moments. That phrase came to my mind
every time and gave me comfort.
During my last
personal study in the mission, I was reading in chapter four of Preach My Gospel.
In that chapter there is a study box that has the question of "What should
I do?" listed with scriptures to answer it. I looked up those scriptures
while thinking about whether or not I should come back to the mission after I
have recovered. The scriptures said that we receive answers to our questions as
we study the scriptures, pray, and listen to the spirit. That all gave me a lot
of comfort. I didn't need to worry about making that decision while in the
mission, and God would help me make it at home through study, prayer, and the Spirit.
I drove with the APs on
Friday to the Puerto Montt airport. On the road to Puerto Montt you pass
by three volcanoes. I could see the massive Osorno volcano looming in the
distance, with the Calbuco volcano on its right, and a smaller and very pointy
volcano to its left. Beautiful. The prettiest spot in the road is where you pass
by a town called Llanquihue that is situated on the side of a beautiful lake
with Volcan Osorno and Calbuco on the other side of the lake. I'm going to
forever remember watching Volcan Osorno on that car ride. When we got to the
airport, I boarded the plane right away. I was at the very back of the plane,
left side, with a window seat. As the plane started to taxi on the run way, I
was overcome with emotion and fought tears. I started a prayer. As the wheels
lifted off of the runway I ended my prayer by saying "Que tu voluntad sea
hecha." or "That thy will be done." I'm doing my best to put my
trust in God's plan for me.
All of my flights went
very well. I flew from Puerto Montt to Santiago. While waiting in the Santiago
airport a man walked up to me. He introduced himself, he said he was the first
councilor in his branch, that he was a returned missionary, and that he had
doughnuts for me. That was a miracle. With all of the craziness of traveling
and getting to the airport late, I wasn't able to eat lunch. Later, a brother
from Missouri started talking with me. He was in southern Chile for business.
He served in the Dominican Republic, and had also been a stake president for 9
or 10 years. We shared mission stories and talked about the miracle of a
mission and we both felt the Spirit very strongly.
On my flight from
Santiago, I sat next to two Argentinians. I again had the window seat so I was
only able to talk to the wife. I had brought with me a Book of Mormon to place
on my flights home. I prayed that God would bless me with an opportunity to
share it with someone. This lady was nice. She offered me some chocolate, and
then we started talking a bit. She was catholic, a mother of 7, and traveling
to Miami for a vacation. I asked her if she liked to read. Once she said she
did, I gave her a Book of Mormon. I explained what it is and a super brief
outline of the Restoration. It went well. She was legit interested and asked
questions. Then we talked about the roles that religion has played in our
lives.
On my flight from
Miami to Dallas, I met a kid from Venezuela who was travelling with his
grandparents to Nebraska to visit family. We just talked and became friends. He
was 19, and like any other 19 year old young man, totally noticed a very
beautiful girl sitting across from us. He started talking about how she was
super cute, and I felt uncomfortable so I just tried to talk about other
things. And a good thing too, because a little bit after she started talking to
us in Spanish. She was visiting family in Nebraska as well before she graduated
next week. Her dad is half Mexican, so that is how she learned Spanish. I was
able to talk to both her and the kid about how I was a missionary in Southern
Chile and that is how I knew Spanish. After I talked to a cool kid and his mom
who were coming back from a vacation in Florida before the kid went off to a
Coast Guard academy. They told me about some Mormon friends they had, and I was
able to explain what I had been doing in Chile. Great people. On that flight I
sat next to a 22 year old Venezuelan who was an evangelical turned orthodox
Jew. Yeah, that like never happens. We were both genuinely interested in each
other’s beliefs, so we talked that whole flight and became way tight. We took a
picture together, and I was able to grab his contact information to talk to him
more a little bit later. Man! People in airports are honestly the most
receptive people on the earth!
Me and the Venezuelan that is an orthodox Jew |
I started
traveling Friday at 12 in the afternoon, and I got to Utah at 4 on
Saturday. During it all, I had about 2 hours of garbage airplane sleep. I
couldn't sleep because of my back pain and the super small airplane seats.
Landing in Utah was awesome. I could see the Salt Lake City temple. The symbol
of Zion! I'm not going to lie. Once I hopped off the plane, I was pretty
nervous. I was scared to see my family, but I was pumped. I speed walked to
meet them. Hugging my family has never felt better. They all said I smelled
like airplane seats.
At 5 pm I
had my interview with the stake president. He read me a bit of a talk by President
Packer called "The Least of These", where it quotes Doctrine and
Covenants 117:12,13.. I felt the Spirit. He told me that my sacrifice will be
made sacred, that I have served an honorable mission, and that the Lord is
happy with me. He told me that the process to return requires 6 months at home
before I can talk to the missionary department to go back out again. He
emphasized that going back out or staying home was completely my decision and
that it was between me and the Lord. He then released me. I took off my name
tags as I walked out to the car with my parents. I felt so light. Like a mantle
of responsibility had lifted. I felt like a normal person.
The next day was Sunday.
I had an interview with my bishop. He gave me great council. He told me two
things that the Spirit drilled home to me. 1) I need to make a decision to go
back out or stay home. I have done what was asked of me, and the Lord will
respect my agency. I need to tell Him what my decision was and then ask for his
blessing and confirmation of that decision and move on. 2) He told me that he
felt impressed to tell me as a representative of Jesus Christ, as my bishop,
and acting in the same way and saying the same things that Jesus Christ would
say as if He were sitting across from the table with me, that I will lose no
blessings that the Lord has is store for me if I chose to stay home.
Throughout this whole
process I have felt very calm and good about moving forward with my life, and
that that is the right thing for me. On my walk home I felt so light. I prayed
and told Heavenly Father that I decided to stay home, I thanked him for the
growth and experiences I had, and asked for His blessing and confirmation of my
decision.
That interview helped
me a lot.
This morning, Tuesday morning,
I went to the temple still with the question on my mind, and seeking a
confirmation of that decision. While in the celestial room, I felt the Spirit
confirm to me my decision. It is done. My mission is behind me. I am to move
forward. The Lord is pleased with my service. I read Doctrine and Covenants
117:12,13 again. The Lord has accepted my sacrifice. And then verse 6 about how
God holds the destinies of all the earth, and He holds mine. Then I read Doctrine
and Covenants 100:12 which says "Therefore, continue your journey and let
your hearts rejoice; for behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end."
I know it is time for me to continue on with God's plan for me. I know that I
need to move on. The hard part is just accepting that I'm not serving a 2 year
mission, and that that is OK and the right thing for me.
I am so grateful for
the blessing I had to serve a mission. It changed my life. I love the people of
Chile. I love this Gospel. I know that God has a plan for each one of us. I
Know He is a merciful Father. I know He only gives us what is going to bless us
the most and make us the happiest person in the long run. I know that the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true church that has the
priesthood authority to perform saving ordinances. I know that Joseph Smith was
a prophet of God and that he really did see Jesus Christ and God the Father in
person. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, and powerful
testament of Jesus Christ. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the Lord's prophet
today. I know that the Gospel blesses lives. And I am so grateful to have been
a missionary. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Elder West